Conner came into this world with a rough go of it. Let me preface this story by saying that I was seeing an OB at the time, which was great at the beginning but then turned into a bad decision.
About a week after finding out I was pregnant, I started to have some spotting and all of my symptoms disappeared (breast tenderness was the biggie). I just knew something was wrong. I called and talked to the nurse and she said that it was just implantation bleeding, but I insisted that I be seen. After about 15 minutes of trying to convince them to see me, she finally agreed for me to come in. I went in and had some blood work done. The next day I get a call to come into the office immediately. Apparently, my progesterone levels were that of a non-pregnant woman and they wanted to do an ultrasound to see if the baby was even alive.
This was one of the worst days ever. But sure enough there was a very faint heartbeat. The heartbeat was very slow and by the estimated DD and his size, it was slower than they would have liked. So she sent me home with a prescription for some oral progesterone supplements and wanted me to come back in one week to make sure the baby was still alive. So I stressed out all week thinking I had a dead baby inside of me. I went through this two more times, all to see that I had a very hard headed baby that wanted to survive. Once I hit the twelve week mark, my placenta took over producing the progesterone and all was well. I had a wonderful pregnancy, gained too much weight, but I learned and will make smarter decisions for baby number 2 ;)
During the entire pregnancy, Conner kept measuring large. My original due date was July 13 and by the end of the pregnancy it was officially moved to June 20. I continually tried talking to my OB about the measurements, and tried to inform her that my family and Matt’s family all had very large babies. I am 5’10 and Matt is 6’0, we were both over 9 pounds when we were born. But she insisted that I had my period date wrong and he was further along than we expected.
At about 8 months, I started to have high blood pressure. I work at a hospital and work long 12 hour shifts and they had started to take a toll on my overweight self. My blood pressure was getting too high, so she put me on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. This was miserable. I hated just laying around all day and this is when I really started to pack away the pounds. ;)
This is the point where I have my heart broken. During the entire pregnancy, I was convinced that I was going to have a natural birth. I took a birthing class, studied endlessly on how to be successful with a natural delivery, and even had Matt talk to me and encourage me that I could do it. But the last two visits we had with the OB, were not in favor of that. I had an ultrasound three times within that last month and Conner’s measurements were right on track for June 20. He was measuring in at over 8 pounds at 38 weeks and at 20 inches. The doctor convinced me that he was too large, he was ballotable (when she checked me, his head would bounce back up), and he had passed the point of descent. She said that the chance of me having a vaginal delivery was only 10% and that I should have a C-section.
I was truly devastated! I tried asking her what the harm would be in waiting another week and she said that he was too large and that it could cause undue stress on him. I should have went with my instinct, but to a point you trust someone who has delivered hundred and hundreds of babies. So when she said that it would harm Conner, I agreed. This was a very BIG mistake.
We went to the hospital; we had our entire family in the waiting room and were so excited. I let go of the vaginal birth, I made peace with the fact that it didn’t matter how Conner came into the world as long as he was healthy… He was born and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Matt and I started crying and we instantly fell in love. All was great… until he wouldn’t stop gasping for air. They told us that it was normal, that sometimes after a C-section the baby didn’t have their lungs squeezed out. So they took him to the transitional NICU/NN for some monitoring of his oxygen level.
I was an absolute wreck. I was back in the recovery room with my mom, listening to the lady next to me breastfeed her baby. I wanted that so bad and I just cried and cried and cried… which really hurts after a fresh C-section. Matt stayed with Conner and would come back every 30 minutes and give me updates. Nothing was changing, Conner wasn’t getting enough oxygen and they decided that he needed to be admitted to the NICU. It was awful. I went into the OR with the hopes of holding my sweet baby within 20 minutes and now I couldn’t hold him at all, I had barely gotten to see him.
They wheeled me back to a holding room while they tried to get a postpartum room available. Again, I was a wreck! We had our entire family at the hospital and I requested to see no one, except Matt and my mom. Finally, after 2 hours of waiting and my legs moving again I got a room. When I arrived to the room I requested to see my baby. They told me that I needed to wait and get some rest, that they do not normally get patients up and walking until they are 6-12 hours out. I stood up and said that you either help me get there or I will do it myself. Sure enough, she helped me. (I had a ton of issues with the nurses and doctors during my stay. That is another story in itself!)
My husband was amazing. I could have never imagined how he would have reacted to the situation, but he was beyond belief. He was so supportive, understanding of my emotions, and so loving towards me and Conner. My love for him grew exponentially! We were also flooded with family members and friends. We could not have survived without our families love and support for us.
Conner was in the NICU for 5 days. The doctors said that based on the measurements of his breastbone and feet, he was only 37 weeks when I delivered and his lungs weren’t quite ready. I was heartbroken that I was the reason that he had to struggle.
When I talk about Conner’s Birth Day, I say that it was the best and worst day in my life. I was so excited about my new baby, but scared that I had lost him. He is great now. Conner is in the top 90th percentile for his height and weight and is developing wonderfully!
After that experience, I have gained a better sense of empowerment and know that a mother’s instinct is always best, even while you are pregnant. I should have stood my ground with my doctor. I have finally worked through it and realized that I thought I was doing what was best for him at the time. I have now switched to a Mid-Wife and will never look back. I plan to have a VBAC for my future children and am hoping for the best!
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